PETTI Files Lawsuit Against White House Regarding Horse Fly

(PP)- Late Thursday the group Palookas for the Ethical Treatment Toward Insects (PETTI) contacted the White House seeking a meeting with President Obama regarding his disrespectful treatment of a visiting horse fly at one of Mr. Obama’s pointless press conferences.

PETTI, a left wing group of attention seekers who value the life of a fly more than an unborn baby, has also filed a lawsuit on behalf of the horsefly against the Obama White House janitorial staff due to what they call is an “attempted flynapping” by keeping the fly inside the White House against his will.

“The housekeeping staff was obviously negligent in allowing conditions where an innocent insect could enter the Obama residence and not be able to find it’s way out,” said Cornel Brand, chairman of PETTI. “Now we hear the White House is trying to conjure up a lame story saying the fly was ‘trying to attack the President.’ That’s just hogwash…. the fly obviously saw the cameras and took his shot at calling attention to his being held against his will. It was a gutsy move…. but it worked…. and everybody’s talking about it.”

Language in the lawsuit describes an incident during the press conference when the President attempts to physically attack the fly, and the White House is fervently denying the accusation. Images captured of the event appear to support PETTI’s claim that President Obama tried to swat at the harmless fly, and Obama may have intended to end it’s life. PETTI’s language in the suit often refers to Obama’s disregard for innocent life.

U.S. Attorney General Eric Holder would not comment on the record regarding the PETTI group’s lawsuit, but off the record he said, “This is just another cash grab by a special interest group that knows the President will pay up because of his commitment to redistribution of wealth. Frankly… this suit makes it easier for us to spend rich people’s money because it doesn’t have to go through those stingy bastards in Congress.”

White House spokesman Art Carney declined to comment on the pending litigation, but did say that the White House janitorial staff was working all night to repair cracks in the buildings aging screen doors.

“You can imagine that the President is embarrassed by the constant appearance of bugs flying around his head on camera,” said Carney. “At some point the criticism that this administration is run like a third world flea market is going to stick if people continue to see flies buzzing around like it’s a Tijuana sidewalk fish market. ”

The Palookaville Post has learned from copies of the lawsuit that PETTI is seeking $108 million dollars in damages on behalf of the fly and his 107 immediate family members held inside the White House. The fly was unavailable for comment.

Ace Cub Reporter Jimmy Olsentwins