Teenage Girl Gangs Run Wild…. Threaten to Take Over South Side of Town

(PP)- The Palookaville Police Department has issued an alert in the third District of South Palookaville for several dozen armed robberies that have occurred during the month of January.

The offenders, described as six to eight females with a light completion between the ages of 13 and 18, enter taxi cabs in the downtown Circle with ill intentions.

Upon arrival to their bogus destinations in the South Side, one of the unleashed females chokes the driver with a rope or cord, while another threatens the cab driver with a knife or box cutter, demanding cold hard cash. Authorities say the group then jumps out of the cab.

“Yeah, if that happens, it’s scary, you know, it’s very dangerous,” one cab driver says. “The only thing good about the attacks is that most of the girls look like they really need the money ’cause they aren’t wearing a lot of clothes, and it’s really cold out at that time of night.”

Additional unrelated reports from the Palookaville Police say that four girls were charged with gang assault Wednesday morning after they allegedly attacked a elderly woman as she was trying to board her bus.

The girls — a 17 year old, two 13-year-olds and a 12-year-old — called what they did “mobbing” or “popping” on old people, and told police they did it for fun and chose their surprised victim at random.

“I don’t know what has gotten into these very young girls recently,” said an anonymous officer. “It’s as if they have no conscience and have never been told the difference between right and wrong. You have to wonder what the parents are thinking when their 12 year old gets arrested at two o’clock in the morning for slapping around an old lady.”

The 74-year-old victim suffered head and internal injuries, and had cuts and bruises all over her body. Her condition could not be learned later Wednesday, and it was unclear whether she had to be hospitalized.

Palookaville mayor Terry Malloy believes that the escalation of violent crimes by young girls is caused by their lack of decent moral values, and not because they live in the depressed socioeconomic climate of South Palookaville.

“These girls are old enough to know better, but the problem is that somehow nobody told them what good behavior is,” said mayor Malloy. “This is the direct consequence of lowering our standards of decency to the bottom rung that so many liberals demand. It is obvious that the girls aren’t starving and trying to just steal a loaf of bread…. all they know is how to be thugs.”

The Palookaville Post has learned that a backlash has started to ripple through the South side neighborhood that has been hit very hard by puerile violence in their community which is obviously under attack from the inside.

“We can’t blame all of the bad behavior on influence from the outside world, or that our government has not done enough for us,” said a local teacher involved in a lawsuit to allow religious teaching in his class. “These girls that are being arrested for violent attacks are students in my classroom, and I can see they are starved for knowledge of how to live a better life. It’s too bad that I have to sue the authorities in order to get the right to teach them right from wrong….. they are really just very scared little kids.”

“Segretti”